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Joke of the Day

"The bartender says ""We don't serve time travellers here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."

"Business Idea: Audio books for deaf people"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut fucks everybody, a bitch fucks everybody but me."

"I wish my car's navigation could take human form so I can punch it in the face."

"What do you call a snobbish thief walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"How does an attorney go to sleep? First he lies on one side, then the other!!"

"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make everything up."

"I am a level 5 vegan.... I cant eat anything that casts a shadow."

"Laziness is when a person doesn't fake that he's working."

"What does Jared from Subway have in common with McDonald's? They put their meat in 10 year old buns."