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Joke of the Day
"Remove dead skin by hurling yourself into an active volcano."
Next Joke
"Me: I got my YOLO tattoo covered up GF: Good. I told you it was just a stupid fad Me: I know GF: What'd you get? Me: *reveals Minion tattoo*"
"""God is dead, but like, dead in a fun way"" - Nietzsche trying to make a first date less awkward"
"Did you hear about the 50yo who couldn't deliver a baby? She was having a midwife crisis."
"Every time I notice some loser has deleted me for being totally awesome, I wish that the small Asian from ""The Hangover"" would pop up on their screen and scream, ""Tooood-a-loooo muthaf$ckaaaaasss!"""
"What's another name for a prosthetic patella? Faux-knee"
"Man plus woman Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage"
"a muslim couple goes hunting and accidentally shot an ape. ""ouch, that's a shame. can we eat him so he wouldn't die in vain?"" said the girl. ""no, we cant"" the guy replied. ""why?"" ""it's Haram, Bae"""
"Yess ocifer b-b-but in dog beers I've only had two."
"I've always wanted to be the best dead person ever But the competition is stiff."