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Joke of the Day

"Man plus woman Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage"

"I had to factory reset my phone.. I found Nickelback on it"

"I'm hot blooded, check it & see/ I got a fever of 103/ why's everyone on the bus screaming/ maybe I shoulda wiped off the rectal thermometer"

"Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone? He couldn't find the droid he was looking for."

"Funny how we say ""I drank a *pot* of coffee"" instead of ""I drank fourteen cups of coffee and chased the cat around the hot tub with a sword"""

"What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.? Between a politician and a news camera."

"*opens door* Stop screaming! *opens door* What broke?! *opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! ~parenting from the bathroom"

"What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls? Altha'or syzygena"

"I've discovered that 1+1 can, in fact, equal 3. Because I wasn't wearing a condom."

"DEAD BABY JOKES: So what's the difference between a dead baby and dirt? **I don't eat dirt.**"