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Joke of the Day

"Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy... At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

"What's the difference between a Priest and Acne? Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face"

"How dumb do you have to be to fly right into my fucking face? This is why we shouldn't allow bees to text."

"Helluva guy John is a hellava guy. Type of guy who goes out on a Friday night, gets a couple of blow jobs, comes back and gives his buddy one."

"There are a bunch of people shouting ""No Reds or Yellows!"" outside my gym I can't tell if they are supporting Trump or Team Mystic"

"What do you call a gay fly? a maggot"

"When does a cup stop being a cup and start being a mug? When it gets a handle on life."

"What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards? Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents."

"News says there were a ""record number of marijuana seizures"" in 2015. Weird ... after all these decades I've never had a single seizure."

"What kind of cereal do you find in a haunted house? Cinnamon Ghost Crunch"