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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her: I replied with, ""Alright, fatty."""

"Marriage If a couple gets married in Alabama... And divorced in Mississippi... Are they still brother and sister?"

"I'm so lazy, if I got kidnapped I'd just think, ""Well, this is where I live now."""

"I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go."

"Only use ""extra virgin"" to describe olive oil that doesn't even think about fucking."

"One-legged Fox How do you kill a Fox with 1 leg? Make him run across Canada."

"""What's funny?"" The microwave beeping as you walked backwards. ""Why's that funny?"" Because large objects beep going in reverse, Diane."

"How do you know if a Chinese man has robbed your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway."

"What was John Locke's favorite beer? Natty Rights"

"Dear posters of /r/jokes, can't you be a bit more original with your posts? My friends say they are tired of hearing the same jokes over and over again."