89564
Joke of the Day
"I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go."
Next Joke
"If I ever start a team, I'm going to name it ""Each Other Off""...That way when we loose a game, the other players will have to tell people they ""beat each other off last night""!!!"
"When I'm old, I'm gonna giggle uncontrollably, squirm, and go all sack of potatoes on my son when he tries to get me in the car as payback."
"Jeffrey Tambor walks into a bar and spots Stephen Tobolowsky... He says, ""Have I seen you somewhere before?"""
"I convinced my son he has asthma so I wouldn't have to waste a bunch of money on team sports."
"One time I stayed in a relationship three months longer than I should've because the person had a flattering mirror in their apartment"
"The ex hasn't moved out yet. To make her uncomfortable I left a new box of condoms out on the table. She retaliated with a pregnancy kit."
"How do you get your dog to come? Fuck it."
"What did the guitars do when they were unhappy with their government? Formed a coustic d'etat"
"Can't believe that it's been over a hundred years since Einstein proposed his theory of relativity. Feels like it was only yesterday..."