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Joke of the Day

"In colllege what was the difference between pumpkin pie and my girlfriend? I shared the girlfriend."

"I'm going to start a band called Control Z We will play our songs, but start over half way through it."

"What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday? Saturday Night Fever."

"Two Goldfish Are Sitting In A Tank One turns to the other and says ""I'll man the guns, you drive"""

"If I had any self control I'd probably eat that too."

"Me: do you want to hear what happened to the last guy who threatened me? Bumper cars operator: i meant your time is up, like for the ride"

"Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,"

"Is it against the law for postal workers to smile or was it my audacity to mail something?"

"Obesity cures wrinkles."

"I'm fairly tall so folks are always asking me ""Do you play basketball?"" My standard reply: ""No, do you play miniature golf?"""