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Joke of the Day

"Which kitchen appliance tells the best jokes? The beater - he cracks everybody up!"

"They call cat people crazy but we're not the ones outside at 5AM every morning putting fresh dog poop into tiny baggies."

"My kid keeps getting his pants leg wrapped in the chain of his bike, it's a vicious cycle."

"My boss always calls me Sweetypie when he wants me to get him coffee..I estimate he's swallowed a bucket of my spit in the last 4 years.."

"Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? because i'm not going to pay you"

"I was gonna make a gay joke.. ...butt fuck it."

"How I wear a scarf: 1. Take scarf and drape it over my shoulder 2. Find an annoying co-worker and choke them to death with it. 3. Repeat"

"Just finished a chat via text msg in which the girl finished every single sentence with ""lol"". It was draining lol. Wanna kill myself lol."

"What does King Kong and a black person have in common? neither of them can't speak english and are unemployed."

"Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes? Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate."