179775

Joke of the Day

"They call cat people crazy but we're not the ones outside at 5AM every morning putting fresh dog poop into tiny baggies."

"It was fortunate that Hillary had a moderator Lester temper get out of hand."

"Fucking cows... ...wouldn't recommend it."

"[First date] Me: ""So, what do you do?"" Date: ""I'm a librarian."" Me: ""Oh, my bad."" *Whispers for the entire rest of the date*"

"What kind of pants does Mario wear to work? Denim denim denim ;p"

"TIL that curling used to be coed... But the decision was made to segregate because the committee felt the female members had an unfair advantage, being naturally better sweepers."

"According to science... Apaprnlety hmoosxeulas aer brililnat at unscarbmnlig snetnecse."

"Is it okay to use everyday objects for anal stimulation? I'm sitting on the fence."

"People who are complaining of shoveling driveways, haven't you heard of moving?"

"A Chinese man walks into a bar... and the bartender says, "" Why the Wong face?"""