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Joke of the Day

"Fun fact: Snakes don't exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it"

"Every cab ride for me is 75% fake laughter."

"I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind."

"I just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It only took me six months, which is amazing considering the box says 2-4 years."

"I just got whipped and gagged by a lady covered in a ton of specks of leather. She was a dot matrix dominatrix."

"I need a joke. I need a quick joke to tell Dennis tomorrow. He always tells me a good one and I want to hit him back with a good one."

"Headline: ""Female-named hurricanes kill more than male hurricanes because people don't respect them, study finds"". AKA, ""My eye is up here""."

"I saw this lady vogueing alone so I felt bad and started dancing with her. Anyone know sign language for 'Im sorry'?"

"Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist"

"It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I'm trying to do that & you're lowering my chances."