136391

Joke of the Day

"I love when a girl posts a selfie with ""no filter"" but the shit is so blown out you can't even see her nose."

"DON'T shoot for the moon if you miss, you will land among the stars alone and asphyxiating"

"What is the difference between a bus station filled with elderly and a crab with boobs? One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean"

"""I have a friend..."" ""I have a friend who watches Japanese anime and likes vandalising Renaissance art with drawing pins."" ""Really?"" ""Yeah, he loves A Tack on Titian!"""

"Why couldn't the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail? Because they couldn't cross the streams."

"Microsoft will start making ... vacuum cleaners. It will be the only thing they make that doesn't suck."

"I read that 10 out of 2 people are dyslexic That makes two of us"

"I'm confused, why does the Gangnam Style guy want to launch a nuclear attack on the US?"

"cop: ""you're drunk, get out of the car."" judas: ""bbut I've bbeen on tthe water all night."" - [jesus whistles innocently]"

"Don't do suicide, kids! You'll kill yourself!"