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Joke of the Day

"Someone just told me ignorance and apathy are the world's two biggest problems I didn't know that, but I don't really care."

"Knock, knock..."

"If ""Pizza?"" is the question, ""Pizza!"" is the answer."

"""Welcome to the future. Let me show you around. Here's the bathroom. This is a robot that we invented that screams at your wet hands."""

"What would people call an old John Cena? John Senile"

"*reads menu for reasonable amount of time ""I'll take the food."""

"A man walks into a library with a book on suicide. The librarian says, ""sorry to hear about your friend""."

"A man tries to buy a trampoline... but his check bounces."

"A funny thing I like to do is yell 'God, not your WHOLE hand' when the doctor does a pelvic exam."

"I could've chosen a life of crime but it seems like it would interfere with my 9pm bedtime."