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Joke of the Day

"The south was reported to have more Ashley Madison users than any other region in the U.S. I guess family isn't always enough."

"Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four one to change it and the other three to deny it."

"Mosquitoes are whores. They suck on everyone who goes near them."

"Why don't Geordies use scales? Because they can weigh things by eye man."

"Tell me Jeeves, are lemons tweeting? -No,sir. -Well, it seems I squeezed the canary in my tea again."

"A guy walks in a library and sees a chunky chick in his favorite spot Guy: Hey I'm Drew, whats your name? Girl: Paige Guy: Paige huh? Well...you look like a whole fuckin book!"

"Why was the desperate teen spinning in circles around the hot chick? Because he really wanted that beyblade."

"For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss."

"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. In many cases this will mean showing up to the interview in a pirate suit."

"My favorite exercise is a mix between a lunge and a crunch It's called lunch"