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Joke of the Day

"To Dig. I dig. We dig. He dig. She dig. They dig. It's not a very beautiful poem, but it's very deep!"

"Your mama's mouth is like a smoke house. Everyone is always hanging their meat in it."

"""You never told me you were vegan!"" - no one ever"

"What do you like, mom? Son: Mom why is my cousin named Jasmine? Mom: Because your aunt likes flowers. Son: Mom what do you love? Mom: Dick, stop asking so many questions."

"Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong. It just means that you value your relationships more than your ego"

"My city was so poor growing up that Planned Parenthood was just a bicycle without a seat."

"Did you hear about the guy who invented a knife that can cut four loaves of bread at once? He's calling it the ""Four Loaf Cleaver."""

"What do you call a nun using katana? Nunja."

"The best way to respond when a girl asks you if she's fat is to fake a seizure."

"4: can we name the baby Yoko? Me: well Yoko is a Japanese name 4: if the baby is Japanese can we name it Yoko? Me: ... 4: ... Me: yes"