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Joke of the Day
"what if you looked as good as your best selfie all the time wouldnt that be wonderful"
Next Joke
"Watched my first porno today... I looked much younger back then."
"Why is Ian Thorpe gay? He didn't like breast stroke."
"Plans are already underway for a Trump Library... It's the first time a Presidential library will have *just* scratch and sniff books."
"Two fish are in a tank one turns to the other and says ""do you know how to drive this thing?"""
"Documentary I just finished watching a documentary on time machines. That's 3 hours of my life I'll probably get back."
"Valar morghulis the feminist extremists' motto."
"Voldemort: Knock Knock Harry potter: Who's there? Voldemort: You know. Harry potter: You know who? Voldemort: Exactly!!!"
"Monsters won't stop chasing me. I don't wanna play today dammit!"
"This kid was up late doing his work... not on reddit. not posting to /r/jokes Edit: That's a lie."