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Joke of the Day

"My house is so trashed that Whitney Houston just dropped by in her 1988 Ford Escort & gave me a high five & then she asked me for ten bucks."

"What happened to the blind circumsizer? He got the sack."

"And the Lord said, 'Let there be idiots.'"

"What do you call it when a jugaloo sleeps with his girlfriend after a fight? Make up sex."

"When you get laid off. :("

"I'm done making racist jokes.. Because racism is a crime and crimes are for black people."

"What did Delaware? Idaho. Alaska"

"I might be OCD, but I'm not falling for that check engine bullshit. It's there."

"How many people in America do you think I can trick into believing that Brexit is the name of one of Sarah Palin's kids?"

"Judge: jury, how do you find the defendant? Me: [whispering] dude, he's like...right there. Judge: there's no talking Me: [pointing]"