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Joke of the Day

"SURGEON (who is an octopus): scalpel NURSE: [sweating trying to figure out what arm to hand it to] yup one second"

"Did you hear about the Native American who tried to drink 200 cups of tea? He nearly drowned in his own tea pee"

"Post and Repost were sitting in a boat. Post fell out, so who was left?"

"[Cop questioning suspected watermelon thief] COP: *squints* Was it you? GIRAFFE (who has watermelon-sized bulge halfway down his neck): Nope"

"What is the difference between Elon musk and Tony Stark? Stark industries has actually turned a profit"

"RIP Robin Williams I dont think hes coming back through a board game this time though"

"Grandpa: ""My joints are stiff."" Me: ""Don't roll them so tight."""

"Why were the new mittens so flirty? Young gloves."

"What did the fish say when it hit a wall? DAM."

"Detroit is the first city to make community college free! There are no community colleges in Detroit."