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Joke of the Day

"Why do professional boxers not have sex the night before a big fight? Because they don't like each other very much."

"I thought I felt a spider crawling on my neck. Now I have to pretend I was breakdancing at this bank."

"What happened to the cowboy when he said that he was sick of washing cowhides at his side of the dairy? He was sent to the udder side"

"When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room."

"STOP HONKING! IF I DRIVE ANY FASTER THE TINY LIZARD THAT HITCHED A RIDE ON MY HOOD IS GONNA FALL TO HIS DEATH. HAVE SOME COMPASSION, PEOPLE."

"Joke: In my intro to archaeology lab, I had a pop-quiz about bones in the human body I couldn't find that humerus either"

"Gary: ""Doctor, I think I'm losing my memory"". Doctor: ""Since when?"" Gary: ""Since when what?"""

"Did you hear the one about the three deep holes in the ground? Well, well, well..."

"I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend. Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park."

"It's comforting to know that the US government works the same way as a college student when it comes to deadlines... They both wait until the last minute, then get an extension."