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Joke of the Day

"What does a man with two left feet wear to the beach? Flip-Flips."

"How do you draw a scatter plot? You give the pen to michel j fox"

"[Guy goes on a date w me] Hm not sure if he likes me [13 more dates] Dunno? [Marries me] It's so confusing [Stays w me 30 yrs] How do u tell"

"My girl said she need distance and time Still dont know what she's trying to calculate the velocity of..."

"If electricity always flows in the path of least resistance Why doesn't lightning always strike in France?"

"Facebook's ""People you may know"" should be called, ""People you definitely know and have been avoiding""."

"Black Friday: Because Only in America, People trample others for Sales the day after being thankful for what they already have"

"You think your life is bad? I've got that ""Five dollar foot long"" song stuck in my head."

"How are two gay guys who are perfect for each other similar to an Ancient Chinese Emperor? They both had a mandate from heaven."

"*wife walks over to me* *cups my face with her hands* *looks me in the eye* ""Why is there a mousetrap in the fridge?"""