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Joke of the Day

"*in an interview* Me: Tell me a time when you really struggled in your previous job. Applicant: 5-7PM po. Me: Applicant: 8PM. Me:"

"How do you request another Mormon wife? Brigham Young"

"What does wearing Crocs and getting your dick sucked by a dude I have in common? They both feel really good but when you look down you know you're gay."

"Hitler has heard that the Americans have liberated Normandy Hitler: It's over Eva. Everything's a disaster. We might as well call this Disaster Day. Eva: Why not just call it D-Day?"

"What do you get when you cross Rogaine with Viagra? Don King"

"Whenever you ride an elevator with other people, it's best not to mention your imaginary friends even if someone is standing on Carl."

"How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg"

"What's the difference between Americans and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture"

"What's the Difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? One's $2.50 and the Other's Under a Buck!"

"Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart."