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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg"

"looks like our killer left his calling card. 5 cents/min to canada, 7c/min to puerto rico. he knows what he's doing."

"How can you tell the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care"

"Don't make fun of a retarded dwarf it's not big and it's not clever"

"yea whataver ... i have a gf shes uhhh *looks around* imported. i mean foreign. yea shes a Modelo too. no i said model. a very especial girl"

"You can tell monopoly's an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail"

"Knock knock! (Who's there?) Not Abe Vigoda."

"I planted something on Earth Day... My ass in my recliner for the day!"

"Confucius he say Man who wank into till Come into money. Source: My mate Dave at uni circa 1998."

"How do you confused people in the 90s? Tell them ""In 2016, we will be able to refer to someone as ""Sir and/or Ma'am"" And still be assuming someone's gender."""