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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Americans and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture"

"Have manufacturers of picket fences ever gone on strike? Because the irony would be awesome. Take your time, I'll wait."

"My dementia keeps getting progressively fruit pants."

"The only thing I hate more than taxi drivers who talk on their phone the whole time are the ones who say even a single word to me."

"Me: Will you- Hubs: No Me: Can you- Hubs: Nope Me: Are you- Hubs: Oh no Me: Sex? Hubs: Yes Me: Oh hell no..... Communication is important."

"What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog"

"When I get a dog I'm going to name it fart So I can yell ""COME FART!"" In public"

"The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured."

"I generally avoid confrontation, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let this serving size suggestion tell me how to live my life."

"Hey guys remember to visit Russia Before they visit you."