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Joke of the Day

"Crime tip: commit all your crimes in space NASA is not the space police there are no laws up there you will not go to jail"

"When I wake up every morning, things always go well. I'm like the optimistic amputee who always starts his day off on the right foot."

"Why does Mexico always do so poorly in the olympics? Anyone who could run, swim or jump made it to the USA."

"What do you call a herpes pun? a play on warts"

"as a lad i often drew 2 adjacent circles in a crude attempt to portray an Ass. ive since matured and only draw asses of the utmost precision"

"What do you call a women that catches fish? Annette"

"Honesty is the best policy, unless you're trying to return something that you've already worn."

"What's Al Qaida's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"What do you call someone who can masturbate with either hand? Ambidickstrous"

"Jared Fogle was guilty and got 16 years He was just grateful for anything under 18. Credit to SNL that joke might have converted me to watch."