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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who can masturbate with either hand? Ambidickstrous"

"Why do crows fly upside down over The Reservations? Cuz even they are tired of giving Indians free shit."

"Avoid the horror of watching your children's nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend."

"My paper rips a lot It's tearrible paper."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? The more they're forced on you as a child, the more you hate them as an adult!"

"My GPS sighs and rolls its eyes every time it says ""Recalculating""."

"I get SO ANGRY whenever I see someone with their wallet chained to their belt I can't fucking take it"

"TIL that 1 in every 10 people in North America lives next door to a pedophile. Not me. I live next door to a smoking hot 8 year old."

"Did you hear about the storm down at the docks last weekend? You didn't? It was breaking canoes."