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Joke of the Day

"Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me, because it's comfortable... Who cares if you can see my balls?"

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? Because he heard the ref was blowing fowls."

"Brown Bell What's brown and sounds like a bell? Duuunnnggg"

"How do you know your friend is gay? When his dick tastes like shit."

"saw your mum at the supermarket buying vaseline & cucumbers & nothing else, no wonder your dad died if that what she puts in sandwiches"

"""This does not bode well."" - a guy at the returns desk, explaining why he's returning a boder."

"Netflix asked 'How often do you watch period pieces?' 'About once a month'"

"Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well..."

"Hot girls on Twitter: Single and straight: 3% Lesbians: 12% Taken and straight: 15% Men: 70%"

"What do you call a laptop that ejaculates metal? Computer"