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Joke of the Day

"If you do not eat your candy corn in three separate bites, starting from the big yellow end to the small white end, I hate you."

"How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!"

"Apparently, In Sweden parents aren't allowed to spank their kids. Like that would bother me, I don't do foreplay."

"I need shocking, offensive, and disgusting jokes. I'm going back to school in a few days, so I need some fucked up jokes. Reddit Community give me your best."

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes him cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"What is green and slimy and smells like bacon? Kermit the frog's finger..."

"Son: Mom, why are you always showing up at my school on chicken nugget day? Me: *literally salivating* Here to see you, buddy."

"Interviewer: Give me an example of something you took with you from your last job Me: Toilet paper"

"Why don't seagulls ever fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bagels."

"What makes the noise of a cow when you turn it upside down? A cow."