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Joke of the Day

"Today, my girlfriend told me on the phone that we were breaking up. I went outside and the signal improved."

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"How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!"
"Even though I know its wrong. I don't know whats right... Damn math problems!"
"where does noah keep his bees? in the ark hives."
"Why doesn't Mr.Sodium like to spend time with Mr.H20? Because they always get in to heated arguments."
"Arnold Schwarzenegger glancing up excitedly and then looking away disappointedly multiple times while watching the intro to ""Hey Arnold"""
"Listened to Korean Jazz the other day... It had two kinds of Seoul."
"How do you know your at a gay BBQ? The hotdogs taste like shit."
"I'm just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner"
"Why the hell do they call it fruit punch, like where do they get ""punch"" fr.. *gets knocked out by a grapefruit*"