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Joke of the Day

"Why the hell do they call it fruit punch, like where do they get ""punch"" fr.. *gets knocked out by a grapefruit*"

"My dream is to be a security guard on Maury. I'd whisper ""you look like a Volkswagen Beetle with eyes."" When the women were crying backstage"

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"

"A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it's fun to push things down the stairs."

"Why did the Siamese Twins travel to England? So the other one could drive"

"If they added a penis mod to Minecraft... Wouldn't it be called a cock-block?"

"Why does Mr. Pencil hate Mr. Pen so much? Because he is an erascist."

"What did Kris Kross tell the nervous paratrooper? ""Tell her you're a paratrooper. Chicks dig that kind of thing."""

"What do you call lonely cheese? Prov-alone"

"Bono switched from Google to Bing But he still hasn't found what he's looking for"