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Joke of the Day

"Hillary and Trump are in a boat and it sinks. Who survives? I'd say Hillary. According to Bill, she never goes down."

"I got a new job breaking up suicidal couples. I'm not very good at it, two of them already tied the knot."

"I Need To Tell You All SomeThing Very Important. Sanic Ate A Burrito Then Pooped On Bready."

"Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)"

"Did you guys know that water can talk? Water you talking about?"

"I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week Phoned her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs."

"The next person who calls it an ATM Machine is getting sent to the ICU Unit."

"My 4 year old niece's unintentional dirty joke. Why did the fan blow itself? Because it was turned on!"

"Nothing makes me want to leave a web page more than a popup window saying, ""Are you sure you want to leave this page?"""

"I'm gonna name my daughter Retarded So I can say yes whenever someone asks me if I am fucking retarded"