166738

Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna name my daughter Retarded So I can say yes whenever someone asks me if I am fucking retarded"

"10 ways to stop Procrastinating 1."

"Did you hear about the soldier who had the entire left side of his body blown off? He's all right!"

"(Possible trigger) I wanted to smoke a joint with some Mexicans today.. I asked if anybody had papers and they all ran."

"In Hidden Valley, childhood obesity is covered up in creamy ranch dressing."

"Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman."

"My doctor told me that I had Eczema on my elbow... I told him that was pretty redundant. Eggs on my on my elbow? So much for that PhD. I just hope it goes away before they hatch..."

"Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal. He changed his name when the pressure got to him."

"Chief Exec: Any Ideas? Writer 1: Talking Animals! Writer 2: How about a Princess? Writer 3: Kill the parents! -Brainstorming at Disney"

"They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn't land on her feet and now I'm in jail for murder."