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Joke of the Day

"I got a new job breaking up suicidal couples. I'm not very good at it, two of them already tied the knot."

"When you're as good at levitation as I am... It's hard to keep your feet on the ground."

"NSFR: Two tampons are walking down the street towards you. One is a Super and the other is a Slim. Which one says ""Hi"" first? Neither one...they're both stuck up cunts."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know Y."

"This is awesome. Must watch! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMDasvrKXdM&list=UUoSaAvzfqFYlMCBrBDCLiRg"

"I love cliffhangers ..."

"how do you make a conedian and a coke dealer hate you? Steal their lines"

"a newly elected governor trying to teach his kid how to spell assassination one ASS behind another ASS, behind that I and behind me the whole NATION"

"Did you hear about the Zodiac killer? I heard he cut his victims in to little pisces!"

"Why is your shit tapered? So your asshole don't slam shut."