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Joke of the Day

"I told my psychiatrist that I believe I have the power to detect Indian bread for miles around. He said that's naan-sense."

"yea whataver ... i have a gf shes uhhh *looks around* imported. i mean foreign. yea shes a Modelo too. no i said model. a very especial girl"

"I like to bring bags of winter clothes into strip clubs and tell them to cover up. Then yell how they're embarrassing the family."

"21 afraid of 20 We all know why 6 was afraid of 7, but why was 21 terrified of 20? Because twenty-eight twenty-nine... (With profuse apologies.)"

"It's hard to explain puns to Kleptomaniacs Because they always take things literally."

"Donald Trump announced that he would be turning down the regular Presidential Salary in lieu of a yearly salary of $232 He said ""If 232 is good enough for Hillary, it's good enough for me"""

"Sometimes I like to stick a band aid on the middle of my forehead and when somebody asks what happened I tell them I got shot."

"What does a pencil have in common with marijuana? If it doesn't make you look smart, it's blunt."

"""..all the king's horses & all the king's men couldn't get Humpty together again"" *raises hand* What guy thought horses might figure it out?"

"I invited OJ Simpson to my Thanksgiving dinner. He's good at carving white meat."