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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I like to stick a band aid on the middle of my forehead and when somebody asks what happened I tell them I got shot."

"Actors can get political in speeches if they want. Go for it. But imagine someone winning Wimbledon & going, ""Yay! I won! Save the whales!"""

"Whiteboards are remarkable."

"Why, yes, that is a banana in my pocket! *removes banana* How did you know? *begins to peel & eat banana* I'm still glad to see you though."

"What did the buffalo call his gay kid? His BiSon."

"Did you hear about the epileptic midget who works at the pizzeria? They call him Little Seizures."

"I think I'm allergic to mornings."

"2 pedophiles on a bench in the park. A little girl with a lollypop walks by... p1: Oh, man, she used to be so hot back in the days!"

"A woman asks her friend, ""Is your husband circumcised?"" Her friend replies, ""No, he's a complete dick."""

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's finger."