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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I like to stick a band aid on the middle of my forehead and when somebody asks what happened I tell them I got shot."

"I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologise to the man at the next urinal."

"I told a Chinese guy that they always smell like Chinese food. He said ""aw that's lo, mein."""

"Why does tigger have no friends? Because he plays with pooh."

"Taxi drivers seem pretty sad these days... I guess you could say they're, *uber* depressed."

"What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant? Can I have a different server?"

"How should justice be brought about on criminal semites? By judge and jew-ry."

"I made a list of my favorite asses... It's a big ass list."

"What's another name for a dictator? A penis potato!"

"Say what you want about suicide jumpers. I think they used all of their potential."