74532

Joke of the Day

"hate how my phone sometimes autocorrects haha to hahahahaha. im trying to end a conversation not laugh harder than i ever have in my life."

"A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says ""We don't allow Higgs Bosons in here."" The Higgs Boson replied, ""Well, without me, you can't have mass."""

"All this white pollen is fucking up my sinuses big time. *snorts another line off mirror*"

"So an iPhone 7 gets arrested... He puts on his earpods and smugly declares ""sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones""."

"Yes, how much for the baby jacuzzi? Ma'am, that's a crockpot."

"What do you do when your leaders invade two countries and depose two leaders, inspiring the rise of ISIS? Call Trump Hitler."

"A mexican magician says to the audience he will dissapear on the count if 3 Uno...dos...*poof* He disappeared without a tres"

"Did you hear about the guy that made the highest grades in his graduating class? He was on a roll!"

"How hard do you need to press someone's boob to ooze out milk ? About tree fiddy."

"I fall in love too easily. Wait.. It's ditches, I fall in ditches too easily"