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Joke of the Day

"Dear people posting pics of things they got for Valentine's Day: Please stop it! Spare us the cheesiness and keep that sh!t to yourself. Sincerely, Single People"

"*young woman walks by Wife: Wow, she looks really good, don't you think? Me: NO WAY, I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THAT"

"Who was King Arthur's knight who built the round table? Sir Cumfrence"

"""GIMME AN E! ... GIMME ANOTHER E! ... GIMME ANOTHER E! ... GIMME ANOTHER E! ... GIMME ANOTHER E! ..."" - Cheerleader who loves ecstasy"

"What did the kid ask the Pirate? Kid asks, ""Where are your buccaneers?"" Pirate replies, ""They're under my Buccan Hat!"""

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme!"

"[Wife walks in wearing nothing but whipped cream] Oh my god, Linda, it's like you've never even heard of ants."

"Why have they created sweet tampons? for sour puss(ys)"

"My kids and this punchline have a lot in common. They're both a disappointment."

"Why do rednecks like Halloween? Because they can Pump-Kin"