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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee how I like my women... Cold and bitter"
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"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? His Fresh Prints"
"Why are Twilight fans obsessed with it? Because they need a fandom that won't make them feel like trash."
"""What are all those wires?"" ""My wireless internet."" (New Yorker cartoon ideas)"
"Vader: I AM your father. Luke: Why are you telling me this now? Vader: Luke: Vader: I need a kidney."
"My girlfriend asked me how I know so much about vaginas I had be honest, I told her I've been into them for years."
"Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a ""gym."""
"What does a lawyer say to another lawyer? We are both a lawyer."
"Boss made me put a nametag over my left bosom. I leaned over and said, ""Now, what shall we name the other one?"""
"There are two cavemen sitting by a fire... One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, ""You like beetles?"" and his friend says, ""No,*CRUNCH CRUNCH*, me more of a stones guy."""