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Joke of the Day

"So I just flashed my hard drive. Though why showing my computer my schlong is meant to speed it up I'll never know."

"How did the lesbian couple build their house? Tongue and groove. [For those who don't understand](http://0.tqn.com/d/homerepair/1/0/0/3/-/-/t_g.jpg)"

"Guy calls to HR: - Hi. I'd like to discuss IT security specialist position at your company. - Ok. Send your CV, please. - You already have it at your desktop."

"My wife wanted me to buy something that goes to 200 in one second flat. So I bought her a bathroom scale."

"i never dreamed that little pictures on a screen would feel like friends... yet here i am."

"What's the most important part of an ISIS joke? The execution."

"Back in high school I never went for mean girls because I prefer them above average"

"According to really smart people I should have started saving 20 years ago."

"WIFE: He treats our marriage like it's a talk show THERAPIST: Is this true? ME: *turns and winks at camera* We'll find out after the break"

"In a parallel universe nobody can park."