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Joke of the Day
"i never dreamed that little pictures on a screen would feel like friends... yet here i am."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Frenchman that wears sandals? Phillipe Floppe Courtesy, my Neuroscience Prof."
"How do you catch the Easter Bunny? Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!"
"My dad has a great idea for Donald Trump's campaign slogan. ""Vote for me in 2016 or there'll be hell toupee."""
"People who like being photographed in natural light.. ..should be taken outside and shot."
"Stop making mini snacks, people. Never have I been like, ""wow this is a delicious cupcake. If only it were 1/4 of the size."""
"Cashier: how old r u? Me:*holding beer nervously* uuh 21 Cashier:*shaking his head sadly as he pulls Trix out of my cart* Trix are for kids."
"*stands near cute dude in store* ME [pretending to be on my phone]: PLEASE doctor, when will I be cured of my no gag reflex problem *winks*"
"I like to shit with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me."
"Two psychics run into each other in the street The first one says, ""You're fine, how am I?"""