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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: He treats our marriage like it's a talk show THERAPIST: Is this true? ME: *turns and winks at camera* We'll find out after the break"

"I saw a homeless man holding a sign. It said, ""2 will change my life."" Unfortunately, I only had a 5 note in my pocket."

"Turkish fundraising dinner Donor Kebab"

"""I'm not a fan."" -air conditioner"

"How many Freuds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and another to hold the penis. ... ... ... Er... I mean... The ladder."

"Don't be sad when you find expired food in your pantry. Be happy you outlived it."

"Friends are like snowflakes, they gang up on you and tell you you're an alcoholic."

"[Pick Up Line] Is someone calling me, Or are you just that beautiful. Because Something Is vibrating in my Pocket..."

"How do Eskimo fleas stay warm? A flea's blanket."

"What do you call Charlie Sheen having sex with his brother? Emilio Incestevez"