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Joke of the Day

"Guy calls to HR: - Hi. I'd like to discuss IT security specialist position at your company. - Ok. Send your CV, please. - You already have it at your desktop."

"Men and hookers Why do men always pick the hooker that costs tens of thousands of dollars over the far sexier hooker which costs two dollars? Because prostitution is looked down upon."

"Merry christmas and happy new year! - Internet explorer"

"When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I've been told. Twice now."

"You know, it occurs to me that my ceiling fan is inherently indecisive... Any time I ask it a question, it only ever responds with ""HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"""

"What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed? High definition"

"Murderer: IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU Me: wow your hands are so soft Murderer: omg really Me: [caresses his hands] what moisturizer do you use"

"My Girlfriend & her Ex... My girlfriend wanted me to be more like her ex . . . . . So I dumped her."

"Why don't dirty commies shower? Because they don't want to wash away their Marx."

"What idiot called it ""best man"" instead of ""lord of the rings"""