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Joke of the Day

"What does a suicidal multiple personality say every morning? If I don't kill myself soon, I will!"

"I can't show how much I hate exclamation points without looking like a hypocrite."

"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the earth round... and laughed..."

"Love becomes weak if it is not strengthened by truth. Truth becomes hard if it is not softened by love."

"Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market? He was caught taking a leek."

"I'm off work next week so I'm gonna throw this knife at a map, where it lands I go. *throws knife, misses map.* Space, I'm going to space"

"What's it called when a cow kills itself? Mooicide ...Okay, fine, I'll leave..."

"Police officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I'm just as confused as you are."

"The Bible is a lot like those online Terms of Use Agreements. Everyone says they agree with it, but very few people actually read it."

"DON'T BREATHE! Studies show that 100% of humans that have died have inhaled oxygen at least once in their life."