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Joke of the Day

"(After you win something, say this to the loser). You're like an Italian man with his foot in his mouth (Italian accent) You tasted defeat."

"What's red, white, and black all over? An American plantation."

"Why is it that when kids touch themselves, it's ""perfectly natural""... but when I do it, I'm a ""pedophile""?"

"Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after Chuck Norris gave them a roundhouse kick to the face."

"Hey, I'm a girl. I ignore nice guys, chase douche bags, and then complain about it"

"Sometimes I wish real world conversation had a 140 character limit."

"May I buy half a rabbit? No we don't split hares!"

"What's your best Bear joke?"

"What you call a black priest? Holy shit."

"A Spanish-speaking sailor met Poseidon and asked the God of the Water if he was wet all the time? Poseidon: ""Sea, Senor!"""