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Joke of the Day

"Unlike your magazine, an actual watchtower would help me spot Jehovah's Witnesses before they knock on my door."

"I think Argentina is quite capable of deciding who it wants to cry for. Stop being so bossy Eva."

"A young girl swallowed a pin when she was eleven and never felt a prick until she turned eighteen."

"What do you call a basement full of SJW's? A whine cellar."

"Wrong hole. No. Still the wrong hole. Only ONE in each hole! Ugh. Here! I'll show you. -Helping my kid put on a swimsuit."

"When a computer program says ""Not Responding"" I start texting it stuff like ""Who are you with?"" and ""Just heard our song"""

"What did one eyeball say to the other? Between you and me, something smells."

"Found my son and his girlfriend naked in his room. And I was like ""*Sex-education* is so advanced now that they also give homework!"""

"Why are the landmarks in Paris quarantined? Because they are parasites"

"Q: What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes? A: None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either."