65390

Joke of the Day

"Found my son and his girlfriend naked in his room. And I was like ""*Sex-education* is so advanced now that they also give homework!"""

"When people say 'oh, you're still single?' I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married?' I'm popular."

"I'm really bad at making at fences Oops, wrong place for this post"

"My boyfriend took me to dinner and insisted I order my food in a robot voice, so I took him to bed and insisted he make Chewbacca noises."

"Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons... It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada."

"How did the cavemen in the far east protect them selves? They Rocked their doors."

"My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 200 in a few seconds for christmas So I bought her a nice sports car."

"I decided today that I want to have kids I hope they taste good"

"Dont be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless youre homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I dont have any"

"My wife has this mood ring... It turns green when she's happy, blue when she's calm, and when she's angry it leaves a big red mark right on my forehead."