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Joke of the Day

"I recently started a company that combines Perchloric Acid with random elements... So far you could say Bismuth is booming."

"Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas? Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc."

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant... ...but apparently it just changes the color of the baby."

"I think I'm about to be molested by an alpaca... Today some guy on the street kept screaming at me to ""be ready for the alpaca lips"""

"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids."

"My therapist asked me to stop wanking. I asked how long i should stop for... He said at least until i left his office"

"No one really cares, but I love it when people give me rats to have sex with. Who gives a rat's ass?"

"My girlfriend told me to fuck her like a man. So I stuck it in her ass and called her Steve"

"This might sound crazy, but I have proof the CIA is putting chips in people's brains. I think they're Pringles."

"Roses are gray, violets are gray, tulips are gray Im a dog."