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Joke of the Day

"My therapist asked me to stop wanking. I asked how long i should stop for... He said at least until i left his office"

"I told her she has a nice ass. As a lady, she looked at me like my mom didn't raise me right. But we all know she'll smile about it in the ladies room."

"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?"

"What's the downside to bigamy? More than one mother-in-law."

"[Dark] What is a Muslims favourite phone? Galaxy Note 7 (Exploding Variant) Just kidding it's an iPhone, you racist fuck. This joke has probably already been said before, so please up-vote."

"Rest in peace, boiling water. You shall be mist."

"Did you hear about the cowboy who wore a hat made of paper towels? He had a bounty on his head."

"60% of African American girls agree to giving me a blowjob I guess you could call it a 3/5's compromise"

"What did the mathematician do when he was constipated? He worked it out with a pencil"

"So afraid of commitment I only play ""Words With Acquaintances""."