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Joke of the Day

"My therapist asked me to stop wanking. I asked how long i should stop for... He said at least until i left his office"

"What do you call an African man with alot of problems? A Zulu Worry-er > I actually made this up just now while chilling with some of my black friends. They loved it."

"Walked by Starbucks today. The line was out the door. I've never seen so many pink cell phone cases in one place."

"*Witnesses an awkward moment* starts a slow clap* sees that nobody is joining me* pretends like I'm trying to kill mosquitoes*"

"How do you make Halloween great again? By carving a Trumpkin"

"How do you measure pain? In Hertz."

"Why is a Boston painting school so special? Because everyone there is ahtistic."

"What do you call a quadriplegic Canadian? A Can't-adian!"

"All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. "

"Why does Marshawn Lynch sit in the back at the Kid's Choice awards? He's just there so he won't get slimed."