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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me to fuck her like a man. So I stuck it in her ass and called her Steve"

"I was going to make a joke about Counter Strike... But it would be globally offensive."

"Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president... ...and 50 for Miss America?"

"Why do handicapped people wear shoes? Because if they didn't their local gas station would turn a blind eye."

"If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself."

"How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday! "

"Why did the Redditors like when a tornado hit a fence? There was a lot of reposting to do"

"I need a career involving less interaction and more pizza. I've narrowed it down to: Pizza Farmer Pizza Hunter Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle"

"""Hell, yes."" ...the devil answered the phone."

"Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms."