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Joke of the Day

"I tried erotic suffocation on the wife the other night when we were having sex. She obviously didn't like it. She's been lying there for 5 days now giving me the silent treatment!!"

"I just got fired for putting my penis in the pickle slicer at the restaurant where I work She only got docked a week's pay"

"I hate all the political correctness in recent years I can't even say ""black paint"" anymore, I have to say ""hey Jamal would you please go paint that fence over there?"""

"What idiot called it a vet instead of a dogtor."

"I wanted to roll a joint but i didn't have any paper. Lucky that i still had my iphone.."

"The US is having so many disasters and tragedies Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds. Edit: Hey thanks for the gold stranger!"

"Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler? He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches."

"What do you call two doctors with the same career? Pair of medics."

"Daddy? What is a tranny? Ask your mother. He knows."

"Why did the feminist fail algebra? She couldn't solve inequalities"