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Joke of the Day

"I hate all the political correctness in recent years I can't even say ""black paint"" anymore, I have to say ""hey Jamal would you please go paint that fence over there?"""

"I could never date a homophobe... I just don't think he'd be into that."

"There's a butterfly in my office and a nerf gun in my purse. Susan, clear my schedule."

"Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?... A month later he was picking his teeth"

"When they came out Fanny packs were the new hip thing."

"Was just complaining about Mondays. Then I thought, ""Wow. David Lee Roth would never do that."" So I shut up & finished my breakfast."

"My wife told me I'm not allowed to impersonate a flamingo anymore... I had to put my foot down"

"(Male-related)When I have a double stream, is there something obstructing the penis? or is it just being a dick?"

"Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn? Because he's *alright alright alright*."

"I dont want to make a joke but I really want to hear the most cancerous joke you know. If I get 100 of them I will show them all to my friend who hates cancerous jokes."