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Joke of the Day

"I just got fired for putting my penis in the pickle slicer at the restaurant where I work She only got docked a week's pay"

"In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em to fuck with you."

"I took my girlfriend to a baseball game. I kissed her between every strike.... and she kissed me between the balls."

"I'm naming my TV remote Waldo... ...for obvious reasons."

"Mr. Jones, did you or did you not have an affair with the victim, Diana? ""No!"" Oh really. And what's your first name? ""Indiana"" [jury gasps]"

"What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite? A Baboom!"

"Neighbor A combination of horse and pig"

"I want to tell a chemistry joke... But all the good ones argon."

"Why was the army recruiter in the nursery? To find more people for the infantry! I'm sorry."

"There once was a man from Nantucket... who didn't know what a limerick was."